Energy,

and the lagging of it…

Our ebb and flow of energy is related to the energy we are creating with our thoughts and our physical movement. And while it is almost impossible to move sometimes or stop thinking negative thoughts, when you do it’s amazing what happens.

This morning I dragged myself out of bed. I didn’t wake up with a smile or a happy thought. I woke up thinking what the hell am I going to do today. I woke up thinking I have no idea who I am or what I want, or if my new job is going to be great. And then I said “stop!”, really loud in my head. I won’t do that to myself today. Even if I feel low, even if I feel hopeless. I am done with beating myself up for every doubt that crosses my mind.

So, I walked out to my stationary bike and did a five minute warm-up to the tune of Tony Robbins bossing me to think “every day in every way I’m getting more and more happy, or more and more healthy, or more and more certain” and telling me to think about the things in life I can be grateful for, like my sister, like my friends at the coffee shop, or my beautiful outdoor patio, my cat, or that we have garbage pickup and don’t have to run it to the dump ourselves. About 10 minutes in I wasn’t thinking how crappy I was anymore or how doubtful. I was in the moment. Then, I did a 5-minute arm workout because I’m getting wimpy and that is not okay. Next, I drug myself to the shower. I know, by now you would think my energy would be flowing and I would be full of possibilities. Sometimes it takes a little longer! So, I put in my head what I was going to do. I just decided it was so. I showered and got in my car and went to my favorite place, Capital Market. I had lunch and did my preboarding activities and documentation for my new job starting Monday. Now, I feel better. Now, I feel like I’m a worthwhile person even if I have no clue what I really want in life other than to be happy and share that with others. Will, I also want to love my work, but that’s an unknown at the moment, so I suppose I have to decide I will. The rest I’ll figure out as it comes along. Sometimes, I’ve decided, this figuring out will be done at the beach.

May everyone get to enjoy a moment at their favorite spot!